ACCEPTING NEW CLIENTS ~ NO WAITLIST
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THERAPY FOR ANXIOUS AND AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT
Many people seek therapy when relationships start to feel anxiety-provoking, emotionally intense, or painful, especially when the same patterns seem to repeat. You might find yourself trapped by patterns of overgiving, pulling away, worrying about being “too much” or “not enough”, or feeling deeply affected by connection and disconnection.
These struggles often have roots in early relationship experiences: how closeness, safety, and connection were learned over time. While these patterns once served a purpose, they can start to limit your sense of security, closeness, and self-trust in adult relationships.
Therapy offers a space to understand and gently shift these attachment patterns, so past experiences don’t keep shaping present-day connections.
SIGNS OF ANXIOUS OR AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT
Therapy for anxious and avoidant attachment can help remedy the things we do unconsciously that prevent us from developing intimacy or closeness in relationships. Here are some of the patterns attachment therapy can help with:
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Fear of abandonment or rejection
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Difficulty trusting or relying on others
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Overgiving or taking on too much
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Emotional highs and lows in relationships
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Avoiding closeness, conflict, or vulnerability
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Ongoing relationship anxiety or uncertainty
Most people don't fall neatly into one category or the other. Attachment tends to exist on a spectrum, and many people notice both anxious and avoidant patterns showing up depending on the relationship or the moment. These patterns also aren't fixed. They formed in response to specific relationships and experiences, which means they can shift with new experiences of safety, consistency, and connection.
HOW ATTACHMENT THERAPY CAN HELP
The way we connect with others is often shaped by the relationships we experienced throughout childhood and early adulthood. When those early experiences lacked stability, safety, or healthy examples of connection, they can influence how we build trust, seek closeness, and navigate relationships later in life. These patterns don't have to define your relationships forever. Through attachment based therapy, we can help you:
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Understand your attachment patterns and where they come from
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Process past experiences that fuel present-day triggers
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Feel safer and more grounded in connection
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Communicate your needs and build better boundaries
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Strengthen your relationship with yourself and others
Human beings are hardwired for connection, so feeling isolated from yourself and the people around you can be one of life's most painful experiences. Counselling can give you the skills to form and maintain fulfilling relationships that help turn your suffering into vitality.
ATTACHMENT THERAPY APPROACH
We hurt in relationships, and we heal in relationships. I believe the therapeutic relationship itself is healing. Being able to share your inner world without judgment, to be met with unconditional acceptance, and to have your most painful emotions held with tenderness, that's where change starts. For many people, this kind of security shows the nervous system, sometimes for the first time, that relationships can feel safe and consistent.
In our initial appointments, we'll start by exploring your relational experiences and identifying the patterns and triggers that feel most challenging right now, at a pace that feels comfortable for you. Attachment based work often begins with understanding: your relational triggers, your emotions and belief systems, and the past experiences that have made relationships feel so difficult.
From there, we move from insight toward real change. This means learning strategies to stay steady when relationships threaten to throw you off balance, and practicing new ways of expressing your feelings and needs, often for the first time.
Working with the root, not just the pattern
Insight matters, but relationship triggers aren't only about understanding. They're often driven by attachment experiences stored in the nervous system. You can fully understand your anxious or avoidant patterns and still feel your body react as though old dynamics are happening again.
When appropriate, I integrate Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) and Internal Family Systems (IFS) into this work. Together, these approaches help process attachment-related experiences and support the younger, wounded parts of you that are often driving these patterns. ART doesn't require detailed retelling or reliving of what happened. Over time, this allows old relational responses to update, so you can move forward in relationships feeling more present, centered, and connected.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
What is attachment therapy?
Attachment therapy is an approach that looks at how early relationships shaped the way you connect, trust, and feel safe with others now. It focuses on the patterns that show up in your current relationships and where they come from, so you can build more security and ease in how you connect.
What's the difference between anxious and avoidant attachment?
Anxious attachment often shows up as a fear of losing connection, overgiving, or needing frequent reassurance. Avoidant attachment often looks like pulling away from closeness, difficulty relying on others, or feeling overwhelmed by too much intimacy. Most people don't fall neatly into one or the other. Some people notice both, depending on the relationship or the moment.
Security works the same way. Most people aren't simply secure or insecure. You might feel steady and secure in one relationship, and more anxious or avoidant in another. Attachment exists on a spectrum, and it can shift depending on who you're with and what that relationship feels like.
Can attachment patterns actually change?
Yes. Attachment patterns aren't fixed traits, they're responses that developed for a reason, and they can shift with new experiences of safety and consistency. Therapy is one way to build those experiences intentionally.
Is this the same as couples therapy?
No - this work is individual therapy focused on your own attachment patterns and how they show up across relationships, including with partners, friends, and family. If you're looking for support with a specific partner, couples therapy may be a better fit, and we can talk about that on our free consultation.
How long does attachment therapy take?
This varies from person to person, and often depends on factors like extent of past trauma, how long your attachment patterns have existed for you, and the presence of safe relationships in your everyday life. Some people notice shifts within a few months, while others may need to work at a slower pace over a longer period. We'll check in regularly on how things are progressing and adjust as needed.
Do you offer virtual sessions?
Yes. I offer virtual sessions across Ontario and Nova Scotia, along with in-person sessions in Guelph.
Does this apply if I'm not in a relationship right now?
Yes. Attachment patterns often show up most clearly in early dating, when there's the least certainty to hold onto. If you overthink texts, brace for rejection, or find yourself either pulling away or working very hard to be easy to like, that's the same pattern showing up before a relationship has even formed. I wrote more about strategies to manage dating anxiety on my blog.
What if I'm not sure therapy is the right next step?
That's a completely reasonable place to be. The free 15 minute consultation is meant for exactly this, a low pressure way to ask questions and see if this feels like a good fit before committing to anything.